I'm not

Most people said "be strong dear!" and then "be strong miss" and also "pasti kuat"

But i don't think so.. It's looks like i'm lossing my path.. I really didn't wanna do anything.. I just wanna lay in my bed or sit in the corner of my room.. Do nothing..

Ahhh.. I just wanna do that, at least for a month..

But i cannot do it.. I have to finish something.. I guess my ayah didn't want i do that things, so he leaving us with some task, and i have to clear it..

The fact, i cannot be strong.. I cannot be strong as people think.. I'm just tired being fake.. I have to smile when i didn't want..

The universe is so kind.. He give me a sick, so i just can stay in my room.. Thanks universe..

I miss my ayah.. But i cannot imagine his face, event i try it so hard.. I just remember our memories.. Maybe he know that i have to move on.. I have to be something as cool as he wish..

He teach me one thing for sure, help people as long as you can, with your own way.. I didn't think i can do that, looks like i dont know how to survive..

"yah, i promise i could be strong"
I always say it.. But the fact, i couldn't.. Okay okay.. It's okay..

I think it's okay being not okay.. Thank's God.. I have nothing to say, just thank God..

"Tuhan, berilah kami kematian yang indah" Terima kasih telah memberikannya untuk ayah, seperti yang pernah ku doakan.. Ssstttt, ayah meninggal saat kami berdoa..

Bun, doakanlah ayah :*

I just miss you, yah..