At the same time

Do you ever feel happy and sad at the same time?? I do..

I was prepare my heart, 2 years to be ready to tell everything to my besties.. But, when the day come.. It's rainy like a Storm (just kidding) so we cannot meet as we promise..

I'm so sad, and i think universe didn't want it to happen.. So, i tell to my self, never share it to my besties..

I let my self to think, i'm brave enough, actually i'm broke inside.. I don't know, when i have the courage to tell them..

I'm waiting that moment.. And then my birthday comes..

When i met my besties, i talk to my self.. This is the day.. Share your secret to them.. But, one of my bestie was with her friends and her friends always be with us until late night.. Wher her friends leave us, it's about 7.30pm and i want a cozy place to share it, quite place.. But we didn't find it.. And she wanna go home, because it already night..

I think, "oohh universe, do you really want me to keep it to myself??, alright i'll do it"

But, i'm wrong.. One of my besties come to my room to listen to me.. I'm so happy..

It looks like you didn't have to bring everything.. I feel free, but i feel sad at the same time.. Looks like i wanna laugh out loud and cry out loud..

And know, i don't know.. Am i do the right thing, or do the wrong thing.. Cause i'm feel pity for him and wanna curse him at the same time..